Independent

I have never really considered myself an independent person. I definitely like to have that moral support beside me, but if something needs to get done, I'll suck it up and do it.  I've secretly envied those people who could just do anything without the fear of being laughed at, making a mistake, or whatever else. Most times when I do try something new or out of the ordinary it goes just fine, so I'm not sure why it bothers me. However, dating a cop has helped me immensely in this department of developing my independence. For the first time yesterday it dawned on me how other people are very dependent upon their spouse, partner or significant other and it irritated me.
Chancho made plans, yes he made the plans!, for the group of our friends to go bowling. I needed to know the people he called just to make sure he didn't miss anyone and in figuring that out he mentioned that he wasn't sure if two of our friends were coming. Conversation went as so:

Me: "Are Zach and Savannah going?"

Chancho: "Zach said he wasn't feeling well and didn't know if he was coming."

Me: "Does that mean that Savannah isn't going?"

Chancho: "Probably, I can't see Savannah going without Zach."

It bothered me that Savannah wasn't going to join us for bowling when it was a big group of us, all her friends, just because Zach wouldn't be able to go. There have been so many times that I have gone to outings without Chancho that I can't even count anymore. I guess it just amazes me how attached people are to their surroundings and comfort zones. I can completely understand how they feel, but as I have stepped out of my comfort zone, I assume it's just harder for me to see how others can't do the same.

Listening to: "Miss Independent" by Ne-Yo
Quote of the Day: “One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: to rise above the little things.” -John Burroughs

Exchanging Watches

I can remember it like it was yesterday, I was a senior in high school and I heard through the grape vine that Chancho was heading overseas. He joined the Air Force straight out of high school, in fact he skipped out on graduation to go to flight school. He became a pilot and therefore was needed in the war. I was nervous and anxious. I never heard any good stories about people going over there. They all ended with tears, so there was a lot of uneasiness going through my head. There was of course a going away party before he left and at this party we exchanged watches. He took mine and I took his. He made a promise to me that he would return this watch to me one day. Hearing him say that meant that he would be coming home. Thankfully, by the grace of God he was able to come back home, unlike a very close friend of his. We never did exchange watches back to one another, he says he has it somewhere in his storage. I'm not sure where his is, it must be in a box somewhere in the attic. I do know that I didn't toss it. It's funny how a simple exchange made me feel a whole lot better, that because he had to return my watch to me, he would definitely make it home safely. I am very grateful that he was able to make it home and I am able to be with him today.

So thank you to those that served, who are currently serving and to those who made the ultimate sacrifice to keep us safe and to keep this country free. We are all greatly indebted to you. Please come home safe. Happy Veteran's Day to you all!

Never Enough Time

There is always that feeling of there never being enough time in the day. We had a wonderful time yesterday. Some good and some not so good. The good involved drinking, partying and spending the night together. All of which is not something that happens very often.

I'll start with that Chancho got out at 3pm instead of 7pm. Either of which I would have been thrilled about because with his usual shift he gets home by 1am. We were able to have lunch and dinner together like a normal couple. We stopped off at the liquor store and because it was a Wed. there was a law enforcement discount....a lousy $2 and change. It didn't even cover tax. Why even bother saying there is a discount?? Senior citizens got a bigger discount! Doesn't that seem strange? I'm not going to go and continue to complain, because we all know that police officers get discounts when there shouldn't be any discounts to begin with so I guess it all works out in some way.

In the course of the night I once again had a hard knock of reality. Chancho informed me while we were discussing going out to clubs that he was not allowed to go to a few places under the orders of his superiors. Which, in all honesty, is not a huge deal, but it does make me realize that even though I'd like to think that he can do whatever he wants, he can't. It all comes down to those few officers that cannot keep their guns away and can't control themselves while they are out that it ruins it for others. It had me thinking about how if the group of my friends wanted to go to the places that he can't go to, that would be added to the list of "do it alone". I'm trying my best not to struggle with that concept. I never was one to need someone to do things with me, but growing up in a household where I constantly saw my mother going to things without her husband and dragging me along instead, I never wanted that for me. One of the things that keeps me from running in the other direction is that I know his shift won't always be crappy hours and the higher up he gets in the force the better chances he has in recieving the days that he wants off. He also isn't my dad who constantly shields himself from the public. It's not anything that I can't learn to live with and I'm already learning.

We are both countingdown the days until our vacation. We are in desperate need of alone time and a breather from him worrying about work. Due to the both of us struggling financially b/c of student loans and the high insurance bills we don't get to have the leisure lifestyle that we'd like. So this vacation will be very nice, even if it does put us down in our savings. I say it will be worth it. He has been working overtime shifts and doing paid details on his days off. Which only means less time for us. A 2 day gettaway in Rhode Island by the beach in a bed and breakfast is something to keep us going. 2 weeks away now! :) Then after we get back from that. We go camping. A double date camping trip if you will. It will be the first time Chancho will be camping. I'm pretty excited to show him how fun it can be. The campground is near the beach as well so that will keep him occupied if nothing else does.

Now only for these 2 weeks to hurry up so I can truly relax!