Saturday, March 12, 2011

You Want Baby?

Chancho and I took his mother, sister, father and his father's girlfriend or as Chancho likes to call her "the mistress" to go see our house. They of course loved it and approved of it. Chancho's mother is still a little weary about the commute as Chancho will be driving an hour and a half to work every day, but our Realtor kindly suggested she come and stay every month for a week Lord help me if she does to stay connected. It was short visit, but it was enough to reassure everyone that we made a good decision.
On the way home we stopped off a local diner to have a late lunch. As we sat down, his father decided to share with the waitress that we were getting married. I don't know why he said that, but he did. I awkwardly smiled and glanced at Chancho who gave me a puzzled look. We sat down and ordered. Everyone speaks Spanish, except me, so when Chancho is with his family I usually allow them to talk amongst themselves and if I'm involved in the conversation Chancho will translate for me. We were eating our lunch when somehow the conversation switched over to English and we're talking about what would happen if I were pregnant and found out that the baby were to have down syndrome. WHAT?? Where did this come from? And how am I pregnant all of a sudden? His mother needed an answer from me and wouldn't drop it. So I did the only polite thing I could after choking on some fries. I responded with "I would have to actually be in the situation to have an answer for you." I then shoved some more fries in my mouth.
From there she asked, "When you want baby? 10 years? 5 years? How bout 3?"
"Ahhh....ummmm....quick glance at Chancho for help I'm not sure yet, I need to get settled into the house first before I can think about babies."
Chancho felt the need to add in that I wanted children before I was 30, which then opened the door about how I wanted to raise my kids.
"I can raise your kids?"  
NO YOU CANNOT RAISE MY KIDS! "I think we'll be too far for you to raise our kids, but perhaps you could watch them every now and then." By this time, I am digging my nails into Chancho's leg under the table hoping he'll get the hint that I need the topic to change, but not before she adds in, "Oh, I see them while you work. I take them when you go to work and you pick them up when you come back from work."
"That could be something, we could arrange, if I'm still working where I am now."
The check comes. The conversation is done. Thank the Lord.

Chancho's mother is a wonderful lady. Do not get me wrong, but I will be the one raising my children, if and when I have them. I think she did an amazing job raising her daughter and son all by herself, but I also think that it's time for her to be a grandmother and that is all. When I'm ready to be a mother, I will be just that, a mother who raises her kids the way I would like to raise them. I have a feeling this is something that I will be dealing with a little later on, but I am going to be keeping a firm foot down on this topic.
When we got home, Chancho received a present from his father which is always a toy police car. Chancho always sends it to Peru for his grandmother to give to a child. When Chancho's mother saw it this time, she said, "Oh wonderful, I save this. Give it to your boy when you have it."

I think she is really pushing for some grandkids. How about we get engaged first?

Quote of the Day: "If you don't go after what you want, you'll never get it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place."


  1. Sounds like a messy situation. Ugh.

    And is it an hour and a half to her house or an hour and a half for him to work? Yikes... there's a place there at the department he can sleep isn't there? Even when the husband only had an hour drive home, after a long shift coupled with extra hours awake for court or OT or a swat call, he would sleep in the "break area" at the annex at the firehouse. The hose draggers (fire dawgs whatever!) set up a bed in there for times just like those. Hope there's something available, it's scary when they drive home so exhausted.

  2. Oh dear... Mothers in law. You gotta love them...or not. Good luck with that one.