Saturday, May 29, 2010

What You Didn't Know...

Police Girl over at A Policegirl's Blog awarded me with the beautiful blogger award, so thank you! I have to write 7 things that you don't know about me.

  1. I am German and French Canadian mixed with a few others
  2. I took a sign language class my junior year of high school, in hopes of it helping me to become an interpreter. I later decided that that wasn't what I wanted to do.
  3. I decided to go 8 hours away to school to escape my home life and to start new.
  4. Freshman year of college I cracked my head open on a window sill after a night out of drinking with friends.
  5. A friend of mine submitted a few of my photos into a magazine and got them published. (I was too scared to do it, I only knew when I received the magazine.)
  6. I wore braces my senior year of high school until my sophmore year of college.
  7. And here's a scandalous one....I dated a 32 year old when I was 19. I can leave that explanation for another post. 
I'm not a big fan of giving out awards, so if you want to grab it, go for it and I look forward to reading 7 new things about you! 

Quote of the Day: “If you can’t sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It’s the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep.” - Dale Carnegie

Friday, May 28, 2010

FlashBack Fridays

 Over at The Family Behind His Badge, Mrs Deputy has started a new project of posting an old picture and writing the story behind it. I of course had to jump in on this, it will give me another excuse to use my scanner and I love anything that has to do with pictures and the past. Perfect for me. So here is my photo and story, enjoy!

 I'm taking this way back. With me being the youngest out of 3 kids I needed to be just like them, as any youngest out of the family would need to be, I assume. Both my sister and brother played soccer so I needed to play soccer just like them. My sister was on the varsity team at school and my brother was on a team with the city so I was dragged to all of their games, which probably implanted the desire for me to play myself. This picture is of me and my father. I must have been 4, maybe 5 years old at the time. The soccer ball that I am holding is a rubber one, I couldn't handle a real soccer ball yet and my parents weren't going to buy me a small one so I got a fake one. My dad was the most supportive dad out there when it came to me playing soccer.
As I got older and wanted to play soccer for real, he was the one who brought me to my first try out for a travel team. When I got accepted onto the team he was the one who drove me to all of my practices Saturday mornings. He used to sit on the sidelines while we practiced and chat with my coach. He worked a lot when I was younger and was never home until late at night so I never really got to see him, those Saturday mornings were our time to bond. He would have the truck all warmed up for me when it was a cold morning and we would drive into town and he would buy me some ice cream some times after a practice.
I believe I broke his heart when I decided that going in to high school, I was quitting soccer. I was ready to leave that phase of my life behind me. I wanted to have a social life and I knew that I wasn't going to go anywhere playing soccer, I didn't want to even try. It strained our relationship a lot. To the point where we barely spoke to one another. We've managed to come a long way from then, but he never lets me forget how good I was and how far I could have gotten if I had just stayed with it.
This picture is a nice reminder as to how dedicated he was to us.

Go link up and share your Flash Back!

And...I'm home

How quickly time can fly, especially when you're sick. If Monday was any indication as to how the rest of my week was going to go, I should have curled up in my bed and stayed there. But no, I was determined to have my time away with my man. No sickness was going to stop me. Monday morning I headed over to Chancho's place and crawled into bed with him as I figured I'd let him sleep in a little longer before we headed off to our campground. Well a couple hours later, I found myself banging on his bathroom door and heard him tell me to hang on. I couldn't control myself so I did a quick scan of the room and started vomiting into his trash can. From there I dragged myself back into his bed and laid there for a few more hours. He was on the phone with his ex, as she was having another mental break down and he's the ONLY one who can apparently calm her down. (A whole other issue) Chancho put in the video from his time in Peru for me to watch while he was on the phone with her. Not that I really understood anything since everyone was speaking Spanish, but I did get to see him in his wetsuit swimming with sea lions. It actually made me laugh. When I was able to get a little food down, we decided to head off on our journey.
I made it all the way without needing a barf bag and I was even able to eat some McDonalds without any problems. We set up camp and started our relaxing trip. We were right on the creek so of course we had to go exploring. I thought the water was freezing, but Chancho didn't mind it and went swimming in the areas that were deep enough. After exploring a bit, we headed in to town (6 miles away), which is the only place that gets cell phone reception, to buy some food. When we got back we actually found ourselves sleeping the entire day away. We only got up to make ourselves a sandwich, have a small fire and then went back to sleep.
Tuesday, we had a good breakfast and read all day. We found out that we had set up on the wrong campsite so we had to move our entire set up to the site next to us. We read our reservation wrong, which wasn't that big of a deal, but still irritating. 
This is our tent, finally on the right campsite
 The view of our entire campsite
 The creek right next to us
We made a great steak dinner Tuesday night. It was soooo good. Chancho cooked the steak, while I cooked the corn and mashed potatoes. I was so full after it, I fell fast asleep. 

 Cooking steak on the open fire
 Our dinner on Tuesday night
 This picture was taken at 845pm. The moon was so bright!
Then, in the middle of the night, I bolted up out of my sleep and found myself needing to throw up again. I stuck my head out of the door and made it just in time, missing the inside of the tent. It all went down hill from there. Chancho and I both were sick from there on out. Wed we found ourselves making non stop trips to the bathroom. Thankfully the bathroom was only a short walk away from our campsite. We stayed put in our campsite reading our books and making trips to the bathroom for the rest of the day. We didn't even eat anything and slept a lot. The only good thing was that the weather was absolutely gorgeous. It was almost always above 70, with a slight breeze and only a few clouds in the sky. I had said that if it was raining there was no way I was going to stay sick in crappy weather. We figured that it was probably the water that we were drinking or something that we had eaten. I'm still not 100% but at least I can eat food again.
It was an overall good trip, but I would have liked to have been healthy and gone on a few hikes. But it is what it is right? I go back to work on Sunday, Chancho worked last night after we got back and is working some over time Saturday night, so his vacation has come to an end. Back to the grind, until next weekend! We're going to Toronto to see the Yankees! Keeping my fingers crossed that we don't get sick on that trip.

Quote of the Day: "Do not spoil what you have by desiring that which you have not; but remember that what you have now was once among the things you only hoped for." - Epicurus 
Listening to: "Carry on Wayward Son" by Kansas

Sunday, May 23, 2010


He's here!! Chancho's flight arrived an hour late and then another agonizing hour later he came through the gate. I scurried over and into his arms.  I didn't cry or scream, just hugged him for a while. I really did miss him. We spent the morning together, as much as we could before heading out to a graduation party. We were supposed to go to the Yankee game that night but tickets were ridiculously priced so we decided against it.
Chancho instead decided to give my parents their presents. My father received a statue carved out of wood that had real animal teeth, hair, and horns on it. On the inside is a knife and not just a little knife, like a butchers knife. It's cool, but a little scary looking. My mother got coasters that have Peruvian drawings on them. I got a heart shaped jewelry box and a set of shot glasses that have the same Peruvian drawings on them as the coasters.

Today we packed up the car for camping. We'll be leaving tomorrow morning, but Chancho is working tonight so we figured we'd get it out of the way now while we have time. I'm really excited for this camping trip. I hope that the sun stays out for us. So that's where I'll be this week. I'll be back Friday! Enjoy your week and don't forget to check out PostSecret.

Quote of the Day: "It’s when you hold eye contact for that second too long or maybe the way you laugh. It sets off a flash and our memories take a picture of who we are at that point when we first know “This is love.” And we clutch that picture to our hearts because we expect each other to always be the people in that picture. But people change. People aren’t pictures. And you can either take a new picture or throw the old one away." - Iain Thomas

Listening to: "Comfortable" by John Mayer

Thursday, May 20, 2010

2 Days Away!

Saturday Chancho comes home!! That means I only have to get through tomorrow. He arrives home around 830am and I'll be there with open arms. I told him to expect me to be running through the airport with crazy waving arms, squealing. He doubts that I'll do that, but just because he said I won't, he's got another thing coming. I was able to speak to him for longer than 5 minutes yesterday since he was back in his home and I could use my phone card. He told me that he spent the day swimming with sea lions in a wet suit. I cannot wait to see him in a wet suit. The images I have in my head are hilarious. He thankfully has video. We were able to make plans for the day that he gets back, which include going to a graduation party of a friend and then going to a Yankees v. Mets game. He's dying to get to a Yankees game since he's only been able to read articles and hear about the games through me. These past two weeks have flown by because of work, but now that I don't have any work, I'm missing him more and more.
Thankfully tomorrow my sister and brother-in-law are coming to visit. They are attending a black tie wedding Friday night and need a place to stay. They'll be bringing my "niece" Leela, which should be interesting with Foxy. I have a feeling that Foxy will be enjoying the upstairs part of the house while Leela stays downstairs. I'm looking forward to spending some sisterly time with my sister. She needs help doing her hair and opinions about which dress to wear and what not. We weren't close growing up because of our age difference so we never got to do those sisterly things together. It'll be nice to finally get along and do them. And it will also be nice to see my BIL, as usual. He's been big on knitting recently and my mother brought back from her visit to see them some blankets that he made for the babies that my mom tends to in the Neonatal Unit at the hospital she works for. They just looked adorable with them.
Foxy made her first trip to the vet today. The vet was extremely friendly and nice, which made me feel great about it. My friend suggested the place and am happy that it worked out. She got a few shots and vaccinations. She had a few worms in her tummy, but the vaccinations should take care of them. She'll need to go back in 3 weeks for the second round of shots, but she was so well behaved that I don't think it'll be a problem. She's been sleeping all day today, I think we wore her out. 

I'm out to lay in the sun on this gorgeous day!

Quote of the Day: "We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned, so we can have the life that's waiting for us."
Listening to: "Bulletproof" by La Roux  

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Tuesday Tips

After talking to numerous customers already throughout this Travel Sale, a lot of people are concerned about weight limits. Airlines are now charging a crapload of money for bags that go over their set weight limit, which sucks. A few people have said that they've had to sort through their stuff in the airport and try and squeeze items into another bag so that they wouldn't have to pay the fee. Another person said they had to buy another bag to even out the weight. So of course, we have a solution to this problem. It's the Digital Luggage Scale. It's a very simple scale, just clip it on to your bag and it will give you a reading of how much your bag weighs. It can weigh bags up to 88 lbs. You can take it with you for your return trip. The scale itself weighs only 8lbs.
Today at work a coworker and myself had a little bet going about which was the best way to pack clothing. I personally have been turned on to the Pack-It system that we sell, but we were discussing which weighed more, rolling your clothes or keeping them folded flat. She was convinced that rolling your clothes made them heavier. I said that it would weigh the same because they're clothes, you aren't adding anything to them if you roll them. So we folded them flat and added them to a backpack and weighted them with the scale. It came out to 6.3 lbs. Then we rolled them and added them to the backpack and it came to 3.6 lbs. The only reason folding them weighed more was because she left them in the pack-it folder. She was dumbfounded. She couldn't believe that rolling the clothes was the same. She just couldn't wrap her head around it.
Anyways, the scale is on sale right now for $14.99 originally for $19.99.

Happy Traveling!!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Domestic Violence

I got a text message this afternoon from a coworker who asked if she could spend a few nights at my place because her home "is not safe" right now. She went on to say that she wouldn't be a burden and would sleep on a floor, she just needed a place other than a park to sleep. I quickly had tons of thoughts running through my mind and had to call her. We aren't that close, we chat here and there at work, but we don't see one another outside of work so I was pretty shocked to get a text of this nature from her. Turns out that her father has been abusing her and her mother. Last night was her last straw as she was thrown down a flight of stairs. She ran out of the house with the clothes on her back and that was it. She spent the night on a park bench. She was able to make it home while her family was at work today to get her cell phone and work clothes, but that was it.
When she answered the phone, she was in tears and I could tell she was very embarrassed. I told her that she was more than welcome to stay at my place, but I would have to explain to my parents what was happening. She agreed to it only because they didn't know her family. She's very worried about the cops  being called and her father losing his license, as he's a psychologist. I'm not really sure what her plans are for the future, I don't think she quite knows what her plans are, but I do know that she can't keep hopping around from house to house. She can't avoid this situation forever. I hope that there will be a way to convince her to get professional help. I may be stretching it with wishful thinking that she would report the abuse.
I also don't think I have the full story, not that any story could condone such behavior, but I think she's leaving out key parts. While I've been waiting for Buster to wake up from his nap I've researched a few women's shelters in our area so that she'll have some place to stay instead of going to friends homes from day to day. A lot of the places have counselors on hand, food, beds, and programs to help you figure out what your next step will be. I just hope she doesn't take it as me trying to get rid of her.
Tonight should be interesting, hopefully this turns out for the better.

Quote of the Day: "Moving on doesn't always mean its the end, it may also mean the best beginning."
Listening to: "I Will Be" by Wynonna Judd

Sunday, May 16, 2010

One Year Later

It's been exactly one year since I've graduated from year. I can't believe how time flies. And sadly there isn't much to show for that year that I've been out of school, but I'm happy to say that I'm not too disappointed. I can be grateful for the fact that I am employed, I have a roof over my head, and working towards a few goals. I do wish that I was doing something with my degree, that I wasn't living at home and had a car of my own, but all within due time it will come my way.
One roommate is in grad school, another has married and moved to Kentucky, another is living at home working, and the last one has moved out of her parents house and is working in her field. All in all I think we're doing pretty good. I'm still in shock that it's been a whole year since college life. It really does feel like a few months ago that I was at school.
I was looking at PostSecret today and Frank, the man who started the project, has been asked to give a few commencement speeches so I thought I'd share a few of the postcards that he was given and had has posted on his site in honor of all the graduates graduating this year.

Be Wise Enough Not to Be Reckless, But Brave Enough to Take Great Risks.

In the Real World You Have to Wear Shoes.

Perhaps the Most Important Lesson That I've Learned Is That You Should Never Argue With An Idiot. The People Around You Might Not Be Able to Tell the Difference. 

No Matter How Far Wrong You've Gone, You Can Always Turn Around. 

Everything Worth Knowing Leaves Bruises. 

Hopefully this next year will be more productive. Congratulations to all of 2010 Graduates!!

Friday, May 14, 2010

Chinchillas, iguanas, and turtles, oh my!

As promised, I took Buster to the Nature Center. I got my first experience of taking him out in public and it went beyond well. I met 4 of my friends there, two couples, one of which has an almost 2 year old son, LJ. I pulled up in the parking lot and got out putting Buster into his stroller and my two friends say Wow You really look like an adult. I guess seeing me with a baby, a stroller, diaper bag and an SUV would constitute an adult like appearance. All I could say was Hears a glimpse into my future, enjoy it while you can. One of my friends new the lady who was in charge of allowing kids to pet the animals so we luckily were able to get in for free. The fee would have been $7 per adult, free for kids under 2. Buster was a little shy at first as he was shown a large turtle, but he slowly came out of his shell. Ha no pun intended. He liked looking in all of the windows, I'm not sure he knew there were animals in many of them, but he was entertained. When we moved into the "furry" animal room, he lit up. He was able to pet a Chinchilla, which is the softest animal in the world, a Guinea pig, named squash, a ferret, and a hedgehog. His favorite was the hedgehog. He pet them very nicely. I was a little worried, but he was gentle and didn't want to bash their heads in or anything. My friends son was rambunctious to say the least. He has learned how to run and has taken advantage of it. He was also very talkative, in his own baby language. I think Buster and LJ would have gotten along great if Buster could walk. He's still in need of a hand to get around on his own.
From there we went outside to the Turkey area. There were about 5 turkeys, a goat, and two sheep. It was such a beautiful day out that we were able to stay out there for a good 45 minutes and chat. Buster played in the dirt collecting all of the wood chips that he was sitting and LJ ran up and down a small hill over and over again. We made one last stop to see prairie dogs, chickens and rabbits before heading home.
I made it back home just in time for his nap, but he beat me to it by falling asleep in the car seat.

Here are some pictures from our first adventure together.

Quote of the Day: "Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers; remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs that just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care; some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers..." - Garth Brooks
Listening to: "Glitter In the Air" by Pink

Thursday, May 13, 2010


Just a little video of Foxy playing.
a few pictures.

You can really see her huge ears in this last picture.
Foxy has been jumping up at the computer screen every few seconds because she's chasing the mouse around the screen. A habit I'll have to get her out of, however cute it is. The computer doesn't appreciate it.

Quote of the Day: "Life as we know it can change in a blink of an eye. Unlikely friendships can blossom, important careers can be tossed aside, a long lost hope can be rekindled. Still, we should be grateful for whatever changes life throws at us. Because all too soon, the day will come when there are no changes left.” - Desperate Housewives

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I need to Learn Spanish

Phone call #1 came one out from the end of the game. Chancho needed to know the score. I've gotten phone calls everyday since he's been able to have a working phone. Some days, he's been able to call twice, but I am definitely glued to my phone waiting for an odd number to pop up. I missed one phone call and attempted to call Peru. Let's just say it was...a disaster...interesting. Remember I don't speak Spanish at all. I can understand a few words, but mostly nothing. Chancho said that if I call I would just have to repeat his name and someone would go and get him. Well we didn't go over the plan for if he wasn't home when I called. It went as so:
Female voice: "Hola?"
Me: "Is Chancho there?"
Female voice: "something in Spanish...Chancho y Mama...something in Spanish."
Me: "Chancho?"
Female voice: "something in Spanish"
Awkward silence not knowing what to say
Me: "It's TM calling for Chancho?"
Female voice (I now recognize it's Chancho's grandmother): "Oh Hiiiiii TM, Khow are choo?"
Me: "Good...."
Chancho's grandmother: "More Spanish....Byeeee"

So I hung up. Confused as ever, but at least I knew that his grandmother knew who I was and that there was a chance that he would get the message. I heard Mama so I figured that he was out with his mother. When Chancho called back later that night he goes "I heard you had an interesting conversation with my grandmother. How come you didn't answer her when she asked who was calling?" I quickly asked if he just asked that question and then he laughed and said "Oh yeah, well at least she knew it was you."

Now I'm waiting for the second phone call. There were two games played today so he should be calling after the end of this second one. I jokingly said that the only reason he calls me is to find out the final scores, but he laughed and reassured me that he had other reasons for calling like me buying him a book so he had something to read on the flight back.

I'm super excited for tomorrow. I'm babysitting Buster, but unlike every other day, we're going on a field trip. My friend suggested that we go to a Nature Center with another friend who has a kid. I am a little nervous as to how Buster will react to being in public with me. I haven't had to deal with any temper tantrums and I know he likes to have them when he's tired and we'll be skipping a nap to go there. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he'll be too busy with the other kid and looking at stuff that he won't get crazy. I'm just excited that we won't be doing the same thing that we do every day that I'm there. I was going bat crazy in the same routine. Now that I know that his parents are comfortable with me taking him somewhere, I think this has opened a whole new world for us.

5 days down and only 10 more days to go til Chancho gets home. Then vacation for the both of us!

Quote of the Day: "Every person you meet knows something you don't. Learn from them." -H. Jackson Brown 
Listening to:  "Scenes From An Italian Restaurant" by Billy Joel

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Tuesday Tips

The Container Store has their Love Your Luggage Organized Traveler Sale going on right now. I just spent the past two mornings setting everything up, which now looks colorful and beautiful! I'm so happy that it's all set up and we can now just focus on the selling aspect.
Anyways, today's tip of course deals with the sale. I'll be going camping at the end of this month and one of my most needed items that I own is the Eagle Creek® Pack-It® Wallaby Trip Kit. It's a cosmetic/toiletry holder. My favorite part about it is that it folds up so it's easy to pack. When you need to use it, it unfolds and has a hanger hook so that you can hang it up on a doorknob, tree branch, closet rod, hook, or shower rod. It has a removable mirror, which I love especially while camping, can't really find too many mirrors amongst trees. There is a zippered pouch that is also removable so you don't have to carry the entire pack, you can take just what you need. There are plenty of slots for little bottles of shampoo, conditioner, lotion, toothpaste, toothbrush, and soap. It is big enough to hold a hair brush and a comb. It really makes my life so much easier and of course organized. Everything I need fits in it nicely and it's all combined in one location so I just grab it and go. Since I only use it for when I'm traveling, I keep the travel bottles inside of it while it's stored so I don't have to worry about where they are. It's currently on sale for $24.99, regular price it's $34.99. 
The sale is going on til June 27th. Plenty of time to stock up on travel items at great prices! 

Happy Organizing!

Monday, May 10, 2010


I was going to wait til we found a name for her, but she's just so damn cute that I have to share her. She arrived Saturday night around midnight so technically Sunday morning. She got dropped off at my house in a cat carrier. She's 2 months old. She's very needy right now meowing alllll of the time. She wants attention all time as well. It makes it very hard to leave her. So here are the first pictures of the newest family member.         

Quote of the day: "Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy." - Anne Frank

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Crazy Crazy Crazy

As usual things have been so crazy this week for me. My cat was found in a neighbor's backyard and the police were called. He was taken by the police because they didn't know who he belonged to. I'm upset that he didn't get a proper burial like he deserves, but at least I have my closure. Time for me to move on. I have a little kitten lined up to be adopted. Chancho's coworker has 6 kittens that need to be adopted so he convinced me that I needed to take one. She is only a few weeks old and very adorable. I have a meeting, hopefully today, to get her and make sure she's the perfect fit for the family.
Chancho and I had a busy day yesterday as he packed and ran his errands before I had to take him to the airport. He's sadly in Peru now for the next 2 weeks. I have a feeling the 2 weeks will go by pretty quickly. It will also give me plenty of time to catch up with friends that I have been neglecting. We made it to the airport without hitting much traffic so we were able to sit in the car and listen to the Yankee game before he had to leave for the security check point. My phone has been so quiet since he's left. I don't have messages popping up whenever he's bored. I'm waiting for the odd number to pop up on the caller ID. We're going to try to Skype, but I have a feeling that the internet cafe isn't going to be able to handle that type of technology. We shall see.
After getting back from taking Chancho to the airport I headed out to meet up with my girls from church for her birthday. I was only planning on going out for a few, but as usual it turned into a great time and I stayed out a bit longer than I wanted, but it was well worth it to catch up with everyone.
Now I'm off to the opening day of Playland. Tony, my friend who's visiting from North Carolina, and I have always gone there. It's a small little amusement park that we've been going to since 8th grade. I'm excited to show him the new rides that they've installed and of course to ride our favorites.
Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend and the weather is beautiful where ever you are because the sun is smiling away here!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Tuesday Tips

Now a days people have so many DVDs and if you don't have DVDs you probably have CDs and you probably have a few VHSs laying around too. I was working down the aisle of Collections today in The Container Store and I got asked numerous times about how to store DVDs. Of course depending on the customers needs and wants we have plenty of solutions to offer, but my favorite one for those who don't want to take up a lot of space on their floor for DVDs, I suggest the Elfa Overdoor Media Rack. It's of course part of our best selling product Elfa, which makes it even better. How it works is that you put a hook over your door and hang a "standard", as we call it, and then place the racks or shelves where ever you need them. You can put as many or as little as you need. It comes in two colors, platinum and white. There are 3 different racks, DVD, CD and VHS. If you purchase the kit, it can hold 96 CDs, 48 DVDs, & 13 VHSs.
It's nice to have it on the back of a door, hidden, but easily accessed.

Once again, happy organizing!


It's been a while, as I've been busy with hosting my long time friend (Tony) who is visiting from North Carolina. He arrived on Sunday. We've known one another for 9 years now, 8 of them he's been living in North Carolina. He moved there shortly after we became good friends, but we've been able to maintain a great friendship. His mother's family still lives here in NY so he comes to visit about every 3 years. So here he is again, as he's making his last visit before heading into boot camp for the Air Force in August. Sunday night we spent the evening walking downtown showing him the new buildings that have been added since he left and just catching up. Yesterday, we were able to go to the Yankee game. His first game in the new stadium.

Chancho has been moping about because I've been spending time with another guy, but work hasn't helped. Both of our schedules hasn't allowed us to see one another. He also had to attend a family birthday party instead of going to the game last night. Then tonight, he is bringing his mother and grandmother to the airport. We're hoping tomorrow that we'll be able to see one another. Friday, he leaves for Peru for 2 weeks. :(

In between hosting Tony and working, my wonderful cat of 18 years has passed away. It started Saturday night when I came home from a night out with coworkers to find him laying barely breathing. I sat with him for a while and told him I loved him and that if it was time for him to go, that he should just let go, it was okay. Sunday he could barely move his back legs, then Monday morning he went outside and hasn't come back. He always comes back home after being out so we're figuring that he went outside to pass away on his own terms. I have the feeling like he's a missing kid, there isn't any closure. I keep thinking that maybe he'll be coming home at some point, but deep down inside I know that he's gone. He was a great cat. We rescued him from a shelter as a kitten during Christmas time and loved him into his old age of having to be hand fed, people food. I hope he's resting peacefully in kitty heaven.