It was 3 hours away in a place called Dance Ranch located in Massachusetts. Dance Ranch is a line dancing bar. Yep, a western themed saloon. It had a huge dance floor to allow for any type of country dancing. There were rules posted on the wall to make sure that you were in the correct location for the type of dance you were supposed to be doing.
Chancho and I, as was everyone else in my family, were out of our element. We walked in and just stood there. I bet the looks on our faces were priceless. The bar was open to the public so we weren't sure who was family and who were just townies in for their daily juice. We sauntered on over to the bar to find out it was a cash bar. This was not looking any better. Chancho checked his wallet and found $5. This really wasn't looking good. Surprisingly, we were able to get one beer for $3.25. A beer in NY by us is $4 so that was a plus. The group of us, my sister, BIL, brother, Chancho and I stuck together like glue. We stationed ourselves up along a wall and watched as they played Country song after Country song. There wasn't any other genre being played.
Once we were summoned for food, it was a BBQ buffet, we grabbed the paper plate and plastic utensils and filled it with BBQ chicken, mac & cheese and potato salad. There weren't any seats available because there weren't any assigned seats so people just left their purses/jackets on chairs and walked away. Plus there were only 5 tables in the whole place. We wound up eating at the bar. The food wasn't even that great. I threw out most of it.
My poor German grandmother was having a fit. She couldn't understand the concept of a wedding in a bar, let alone with people wearing jeans to a wedding. I thought she was going to have a heart attack. She was plopped down at a table that was set up near the DJ and sat by herself for most of the day probably judging everyone that walked by.
They had the speeches, which would have been nice, but they had too many inside jokes, so many that we didn't get anything that was being said. Something about exit signs and wales? It was also announced that the bride once dated the best man. That was mentioned several times. The matron of honor also let everyone know how many times the bride and groom broke up and got back together, which was 4 times, before finally deciding to get married.
We left as soon as they cut the cake. First stop was the convenient store across the street to buy a 30 pack and then to Wendys for some dinner. Then back to the hotel room to party the way New Yorkers party.
The morning after didn't get any better. The groom didn't even come down to thank his guests, but instead had his wife of a few hours bring him breakfast in bed. To top the whole weekend off, Chancho was helping my cousin out to her car with some gifts when she said to him "I hope you have your wedding in CT because if you have it in NY or NJ it will be too far for us so we won't come." When he told me that, I was fuming. We had just traveled 3 hours to her wedding and now she's saying she can't return the favor?? My response would have been, "Oh well you didn't make the A list. You're on the C list so if someone says you can't come we'll let you know."
Here's what Chancho thought about the night. He tweeted this the next morning:
- Just attended the worst wedding ever in Massachusetts, complete waste of time and need to air a few things out
- Don't invite me to a wedding if it's not gonna be open bar, and if its going to be a cash bar, tell me so I don't waste my time going
- If you just want a wedding gift just tell me, ill mail to you. But don't plan a half ass "wedding reception" cause after a while its obvious
- Just because you love country music doesn't mean your dj cant play other music, we are not all red necks
- The groom better wake his ass up the next morning for breakfast to greet his guests even if he's not a "breakfast" person
- It's an insult to all the guests and family cause its like you're ignoring everyone. Sending your wife for bfast after hours of being Married is not a great start
- I want my gift back
- You know its a bad weeding when you have to go to Wendys and get beer after the wedding
- You probably shouldn't be invited to our wedding. Sadly that's out of my hands
Quote of the Day: "Love is true when you can't always see eye to eye, but you always walk hand in hand. "