Saturday, September 15, 2012

A Glimpse

Not many people that know me would think of me to be a person who would voluntarily choose to babysit. I didn't grow up gushing over baby dolls and little kids. I didn't ask mommy and daddy to have another brother or sister. I was content being the youngest and found little kids to be annoying. I did babysit here and there a few times, but only because my mother suggested it. It was a source of income for me since we didn't get allowance like other kids my age. They always had money to go out to the movies or get snacks after being dropped of the bus. Not me. So I found a way to make money. Babysitting.
Once I was of age to get working papers, I did. The only thing I could say I had experience in was watching kids so my first job was working at Gold's Gym as the babysitter. It was awful. I had to watch any number of kids at one time and the ages could range from infant to preteen. Parents who came to work out would just drop off their kids and come back for them once they were done. I hated every second of that job. I didn't get paid enough to put up with that many kids at one time. I usually had five or six at any given time, if not more. It did teach me a lot though. I was able to figure out how to multitask real fast with kids. I found out how to read kids and their emotions, and how to be smarter than them, fast. I went from working at Gold's Gym to working at a ski shop. I had to get away from kids. The ski shop wasn't enough money, as I needed to save up for college and by that time I was in high school, I needed money to do other things on the weekends. I decided to give the whole watching kids things a shot again. I paired up with a friend from high school and we provided daycare at my church during the service. There were two of us and we only had 2 kids tops most of the Sundays that we worked. Definitely more manageable and the kids were also well behaved.
From there, I bounced over to The Container Store. It pays so well that I was able to just work there. No kids necessary. That was, until we wanted to buy a house. I started watching a little boy, Buster. I have talked about him before in posts. He was a wonderful kid to look after. I really enjoyed it.
Now, that he's in school, and we've bought the house. I was in desperate need of more money. I joined and found a family.
It has been a complete nightmare. I've been with them for just about a year now. I have over a hundred different stories that I could share, but I'll stick with the one from 2 days ago. Now remember, this a typical, normal day for this house.
3:50pm The twin 12 year old girls arrive home from middle school. They've just gotten a puppy for their birthday and Angelica takes her outside to play with her. Desdemona fed and cleaned the litterbox for their cat.
4:15pm The tutor, Dydo, arrives. She gives them a small speech on how to behave around us and what is expected of them. Then asks that they begin working on their homework. They both have the same homework so we could all do it together. Angelica automatically gets her homework out and is working on it. Desdemona brings out her laptop. The arguing begins. Dydo tells her to put it away and to take out sheets of paper. Desdemona doesn't listen and continues to play on her laptop.
4:40pm Angelica is done with Science homework and the homework session ends with the both of them. Dydo and Angelica go inside to finish homework and Desdemona is left to work on her chores with me. I tell Desdemona to go take her clothes out for the next day and then shower.
4:50pm Desdemona has her clothes picked out, but she is refusing take a shower. I told her a total of 12 times to get in the shower, at this point. Remember she is 12 years old.
5:00pm Desdemona is in the bathroom with the shower turned on but not in the shower. I was standing outside of the bathroom door and could hear her talking to herself.
5:10pm She jumps into the shower.
5:11pm The shower is turned off and she gets out. I told her to get back in the shower and to actually shower. She wasn't fooling anyone by that act. I told her she could come out when she had actually washed herself and her hair.
5:15pm Desdemona finally comes out of the bathroom (unshowered), she grabs her school books and laptop then locks herself in the bathroom, refusing to talk to me.
5:45pm Angelica has finished her homework and now needs to shower. Desdemona comes out of the shower to let Angelica in. However, she is still not showered. Dydo then argues with Desdemona to go start homework.
6:00pm Angelica is done with her shower, picked out her clothes and finishes up her project that is due in 2 days. Dydo decides to help her with that since Desdemona refuses to work with her.
6:10pm The mother arrives home and I speak to her about Desdemona and her behavior. The mother quickly places blame on me and Dydo saying we need to change our behavior to get her to do what she needs to do. I speak up saying that it is not my behavior that needs to change, as I am the adult and the child is the one that needs to listen. The mother then says that we will let Desdemona not do what she is asked to do and we will film it and the teachers can then see what we deal with and they can decide what will be done. (Again, passing the job on to someone else).
6:30pm The mother leaves again to go for a walk, has me make dinner for the girls and tells Desdemona to work with Dydo. Dydo then writes an email to the teacher explaining that Desdemona doesn't want to do work, Desdemona flips out. She screams at the top of her lungs. Throws her books all over the room and takes off running, out of the house and down the street.
She eventually comes back to the house after informing her that the email was not sent, just drafted up in case she didn't do work.
7:30pm The mother comes home from her walk and Dydo and I are allowed to leave.

This is a small insight to what I deal with, and this doesn't even give it justice. I wish I could post the videos I have of Desdemona and her tantrums.
I feel bad for Angelica who is a wonderful kid and deserves all the best, but she is being overshadowed by her crazy sister who desperately needs help. I feel like I am still with the family because in some small way I feel like I will be able to help them. I think I am slowly coming to the realization that, I won't be able to help any of them. Not even in the slightest bit.

Quote of the Day: "You can try your hardest, you can do everything and say everything, but sometimes people just aren't worth trying over anymore... they aren't worth worrying about. It's important to know when to let go of someone who only brings you down."

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