Friday, August 20, 2010

...It wasn't over. It still isn't over.

A lot of harsh actions were taken in these past few days. There has been a lot of confusion and a lot hurt being tossed around. However, I believe that love can conquer a lot of things. True, unconditional love, is what we have. The past few days have been god awful, but a few lines that Chancho has said to me will stay with me forever. I am so grateful to have him back in my life. He has decided to take me back and work through this. We need one another. We are who we are supposed to be with. We both know this and we can't let one night of alcohol and insecurities get in the way of the rest of our lives. We both have learned a great deal from this and I think this can only make our relationship stronger. There is a lot to work on for the both of us individually and we're both agreeing to be patient with one another.
It's crazy how many emotions I have been feeling in this past week. I don't think my body can handle any more. I really beat myself up over this and I should have reached out for help, but in my mind, I didn't know how. I shut down. Thankfully, I have the best friends and family that were there by my side, regardless of the situation. And of course all of your kind words were a great help. It's wonderful knowing that even "strangers" are here to help you when you are at your lowest.
For now, we are enjoying the new found appreciation for one another and learning more about ourselves as the days go by. I know our families are uncertain of how we will work out, but by our conversations, I believe that we can make it through the worst now. It's all one day at a time. But I am enjoying this make-up time, if ya know what I mean....
We both went crazy in reacting to this short lived break up and jam packed our schedules with work. I even spoke to my manager and asked for full time. Which they are willing to consider after a few months of a test run with me. This is what I need to help us in saving up for our house (yes, we're still going to buy a house together), but it is also going to give us the space and time that we need to heal our wounds. It's going to be a long process, which I wish we never would have had to have gone through. He had great, exciting plans for that question to be asked in the very near future, but now, I have ruined it and it's all about building us back up to a better place.

Quote of the Day: "So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday." -The Notebook 
Listening to: "Here In Your Arms" by Hellogoodbye


  1. So relieved! Hang in there and remember we are all still here.

  2. TM, I'm so glad that you guys are working things out. Love takes work--and forgiveness. I'm glad that you guys are able to forgive.

  3. one more thing--GET SOME REST. I relate to how you said you were so physically exhausted from the breakup. it's very hard on a body and you need to make sure you're getting enough sleep!

  4. You said "It's going to be a long process, which I wish we never would have had to have gone through."

    Never wish for such things my dear. A relationship that never sees hardship will have no idea how to react when true hardship comes. These are the trials that cause cracks in your relationship. And when you reglue your relationship, these areas are stronger and thus your entire relationship is stronger.

    Be thankful for your blessing of a chance to rework. It gets better that way. :)


  5. Meadowlark you are right, once again, I know that this can only make us better in the long run. It's just a matter of focusing on the good.

    Thank you all for your kinds words :) It's great knowing that I have your support!

  6. Meadow always comes through with the spot-on advice, so I'll just give my +1 to what she said. Keep strong! <3

  7. good to hear :)
    relationships take work,its neverending!