A lot of harsh actions were taken in these past few days. There has been a lot of confusion and a lot hurt being tossed around. However, I believe that love can conquer a lot of things. True, unconditional love, is what we have. The past few days have been god awful, but a few lines that Chancho has said to me will stay with me forever. I am so grateful to have him back in my life. He has decided to take me back and work through this. We need one another. We are who we are supposed to be with. We both know this and we can't let one night of alcohol and insecurities get in the way of the rest of our lives. We both have learned a great deal from this and I think this can only make our relationship stronger. There is a lot to work on for the both of us individually and we're both agreeing to be patient with one another.
It's crazy how many emotions I have been feeling in this past week. I don't think my body can handle any more. I really beat myself up over this and I should have reached out for help, but in my mind, I didn't know how. I shut down. Thankfully, I have the best friends and family that were there by my side, regardless of the situation. And of course all of your kind words were a great help. It's wonderful knowing that even "strangers" are here to help you when you are at your lowest.
For now, we are enjoying the new found appreciation for one another and learning more about ourselves as the days go by. I know our families are uncertain of how we will work out, but by our conversations, I believe that we can make it through the worst now. It's all one day at a time. But I am enjoying this make-up time, if ya know what I mean....
We both went crazy in reacting to this short lived break up and jam packed our schedules with work. I even spoke to my manager and asked for full time. Which they are willing to consider after a few months of a test run with me. This is what I need to help us in saving up for our house (yes, we're still going to buy a house together), but it is also going to give us the space and time that we need to heal our wounds. It's going to be a long process, which I wish we never would have had to have gone through. He had great, exciting plans for that question to be asked in the very near future, but now, I have ruined it and it's all about building us back up to a better place.
Quote of the Day: "So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday." -The Notebook
Listening to: "Here In Your Arms" by Hellogoodbye