Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Ripple Effect

Today was a...not so great day. No matter how hard I tried to look at the brighter side or remind myself that whatever was bothering me was small compared to what other people were facing, I just couldn't get myself out of the grumpy, cranky, stomp my feet mood. I think I'm burnt out. I had a 47 hour work week. The first of my new availability taking effect. I think this may have been a bad choice. Bad in the way that my feet hurt, I don't have my down time, and I was thrown into it. There was no gradual increase in hours.
Everything today annoyed me. Then it irritated me. Then I bitched and moaned about everything. My back started to act up, which it only does when I'm stressed and have been on my feet all day. I sprained my back a few years back from a kick boxing class I took in college and it has never been the same. I should be doing exercises to strengthen the muscles, but I haven't. So a full day of customers who needed special attention and hand holding as they shopped and coworkers who forgot their common sense at home, has me wanting to cry.
I got in my car after work and called Chancho. He did have me in a good mood until we started talking about his mother. I wanted to have dinner with him tonight, but his mother did too. She wins. It's her turn to have dinner with him and I think it will be for a while as her father has just passed away and she needs all the support she can get. He wants me to hang out at his place while they have dinner, but that's something I'm not comfortable with, at least not anymore after the "incident". His mother doesn't agree with us getting back together and refuses to initiate any conversation until I do. (I find that so mature.) However, there seems to be a culture difference in that aspect. According to Chancho, in his culture it is appropriate for the guest who is coming into the house to say hello first to the host. Yet, here, correct me if I'm wrong, it's more appropriate for the host to greet the guest first, when they arrive. I've never really put much thought into before because normally it's just whoever says hi first, then that's it, but I guess in Peru it's an insult for the guest not to say hi first. I've been working on making it a point to say hello first when arriving at their house, but sometimes, it just slips my mind or I'm preoccupied, or what have you. Another issue is saying good-bye. Most of the time I don't search the family out to say good-bye because they're in their bedroom with the door closed and I don't feel like it's appropriate to knock on the door to announce that I'm leaving. Also, I'm shy in that respect, I think because of the language barrier. I have never fully felt comfortable in talking to his family and it's definitely showing here. One, I can't really understand them through the accent and two, because sometimes, they don't make sense to me. It's a challenge, but I haven't let it discourage me from making conversation when the time is right. It's something that I'm going to have to deal with because it's not going to go away and it's important to me to have his family approve/like me.
I'm planning a weekend get-away for Chancho and I. It's time for us to escape the madness for a few days to just focus on us. Revamp ourselves away from outside pressures. I'm thinking a bed and breakfast or a hotel, a few hours away and cheap. Now, we just need to find some dates that fit both our schedules.

Quote of the day: Maybe it did take a crisis to get to know yourself; maybe you needed to get whacked hard by life before you understood what you wanted out of it.
-Jodi Picoult, Handle With Care 

Listening to:  "Life After You" by Daughtry


  1. TM, in my culture it is the responsibility of the guest to say hello when entering the house. The host is there to welcome you and make you feel comfortable. If chanco's mom came home and met you in her home, then it would be on her to greet you first, because she was the last to come in. I hope that helps, good luck.


  2. Oh god, culture issues and in-law issues have been foremost on my mind lately too... My in-laws are Mexican. lately I've been dealing with anxiety every time I bring the baby over because the women always pick her up and carry her off like she's their little doll and often will take her outside of the restaurant we're eating at or will refuse to tell me if she's hungry or crying or sick... they take her so far away from me and exclude me. I'm not used to that. Culture is a tough one.