Saturday, January 23, 2010

Progress

"Babe....I have an arrest." Sigh....another night ruined. 

This is how the other night went. Chancho and I had a night planned out for us to hang out. It had really been a long time since we had our alone time. So you can imagine how crushed I felt when I received this text early on in the afternoon, messing up our evening plans. I sat there on the couch bummed. I let it get to me. It festered inside of me and the more I thought about it the more I could see the smoke rising from my head.
I had been waiting to hang out with him for about a week and a half. I wanted to spend more than 5 minutes with him. I wanted to have a conversation face to face with him rather than over the phone and not when he was falling asleep on me. Thoughts just kept running through my mind. I even came on here attempting to vent out all of my frustrations of dating a cop, thinking someone may give me some encouraging words, but in the middle of my vent I stopped myself. I reread what I had just furiously typed out and realized that at the end of it all I had said "unfortunately there is nothing that can be done to change all of this, it is what it is." and then it hit me. I was being ridiculous. That was exactly what was happening. There was no fault to this, but the idiot who needed to be arrested.

I'm not sure why it has taken me so long to realize this. I have sat there time and time again thinking about how frustrating the situation is, but nothing and I mean nothing can be done about it. I've been wasting my time over something so frivolous. It feels like a big weight has been lifted. I was able to continue my night, just as though we didn't have plans, I wasn't left there being miserable thinking about how good of time I could be having and how annoying his job is. I was able to have a productive night and that has encouraged me to see that this is how it really can be. I don't need to be that girl that gets upset every time he gets stuck at work late. Another big step towards figuring out how life is, with dating a cop, is being accomplished.

I talked to Chancho about this over dinner last night and I think he really appreciated hearing it. He knew as he was typing the text out that I would be upset and he was doing everything in his powers to get out early at work. That could easily lead to mistakes or something going wrong. I don't want him doing that. Work is important and he should be doing it right, not rushing because his girlfriend at home is upset that he had to stay late. I think now that we talked about it, he's comfortable with staying late when he has to and doesn't have to fear what my reaction is going to be. I'm sure there will be bad days when I just want him home, but I think I can expect a lot better days down the road.


Quote of the Day: “The trouble with most people is that they think with their hopes or fears or wishes rather than with their minds.” - Will Durant

7 comments:

  1. Following!
    Great blog, by the way! :)
    Love the NYPD, too!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Following from Follow Friday.

    Check out my blog for more "Follow Me Fridays" Link up there too to get even more followers.

    Would love if you shared my button as well. Thanks.

    http://thetrendytreehouse.blogspot.com/2010/01/follow-me-fridays.html

    Tara

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  3. Glad to hear that girl. I mean we can't control our men's calls.Or having to deal with all the crap they do. I dread late arrest, the hub usually text arrest thats it one word and I know what it means. I just do what I gotta do and I know that he is trying his hardest to get home as early as possible. I don't think they like staying later then they need to be either, unless its scheduled OT.

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  4. My husband works as an engineer (secret thing). He can be called away. I tease him, and tell him it is like being married to a doctor for computers. He is called away from vacations too. I have adjusted and make the most of it.

    Hope you have a blessed day.

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  5. Aww...I'm so sorry your evening didn't go as planned. You do have to be flexible and go with the flow when dating a cop. Think like a willow tree. ;)

    Most of our dates are short and involve the couch. Sometimes he stops in my work while he's working. But I think when you date an LEO and you are the kind of woman who is capable of doing so, you appreciate the "real dates" so much more when they finally roll around. We never take time together for granted. That has to count for something.

    So...go pull out the calendar and try again. You'll get your date soon and you will love every minute of it.

    Hugs.

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  6. Good for you for realizing the situation was not one that he could control! This is obviously the start of a LONG trend in your life! :) :) There will be times when you can go-with-the-flow easily, and there will be times when it will totally frustrate you, but keep working through it! Good luck!

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  7. Sorry it didnt work out but glad you put your big girl panties on,haha,and realized some things just can't be helped.Congrats on hanging in there!
    p.s love the new look of your blog!!

    ReplyDelete